Stuck in your leadership? Be a child!
It’s been a while since I’ve shared something. To be transparent I was having a really hard time tapping into my flow post-holiday. Launching into 2023 felt like a lot of pressure to bring something fresh and new. Then the other day I went for a long walk outside. The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. And I felt light in a way that I hadn’t in weeks. It reminded me of what it felt like to be a child. And from that walk came the idea that we could all benefit from tapping into our inner child.
Tapping into our inner child is that place where we aren’t jaded by all that we’ve observed and experienced as our adult selves. In this child-like place we are not protecting our adult ego and our appetite for learning is insatiable. As children our imagination is unhindered and we can step into possibilities that often get constrained by adult stress and responsibilities. As adults, we can get stuck easily, weighted down by all that is life. Here are some tips to tap into your childlike mind and energy.
Be overly curious. Ask questions and a lot of them. You know how toddlers ask a continued string of, “But why?” That’s the kind of curiosity I’m talking about. Ask ‘why’ until your curiosity is satiated and then ask some more. Really intentionally put down your preconceived notions and biases about what you think you know and sit down with colleagues and peers and be curious with them. One critical ingredient of curiosity, when you’re having a developmental or relational conversation don’t ask ‘why’ questions - ‘why’ can come off as judgment, e.g., “Why didn’t you do it this way?” But “how” and “what” questions can be generative, .e.g, “What if you tried this? “How did that feel?” On the other hand, “why” questions are perfect if you’re having a strategy or brainstorming conversation. “Why are we doing it this way?” or “Why can’t we try that?” With curiosity, you’re trying to get to what’s possible so it is okay to unpack the status quo to unearth a different way of thinking.
Draw it Out. When we are small children we don’t have an extensive vocabulary, but we do have the images in our heads. So grab your Crayola Crayons and get to drawing out the story you want to tell, the vision you have, and that nuanced problem you’re trying to solve. You don’t have to be Rembrandt, stick figures and basic shapes are fine. The goal is to get the ideas out of your head and onto paper so you can make meaning of them and share the images in your head with others. Invite folks to add to your drawing. What ideas get sparked for them? What do they see? By drawing it out and sharing your ideas visually you can get to a more complete picture.
Go Outside and Play. Remember when you were a child and you had all of this pent-up energy and the adults in your life would say, “Go outside and play!”? You get outside with your friends and let your imagination take you on all kinds of adventures and experiments. As adults, we also occasionally need to take our energy outside so we can gain a different perspective and let nature and fresh air help us imagine the possibilities. So take a walk or roll. Ride a bike. Get close to water. Or just sit outside in the fresh air and feel the sun and wind on your face. You’ll be surprised how much a change of environment gives you renewed energy and a more expansive view of things.
Criss Cross Applesauce. My absolutely favorite thing as a young child was rug time. It’s the place we’d sit at the beginning and end of the day and the teacher would ask us a question and we’d just talk it out. I remember even now feeling seen and heard and this eagerness to share what was on my mind with my friends and trusted adults. So what I’m encouraging you to do is literally get on the floor. This is the opposite of the leadership practice of getting on the balcony to survey what’s happening in your organization from a birds-eye view. Getting on the floor is about coming out from behind your desk and computer and sitting with your people. There is something humbling about sitting on the floor or a circle rug and just chatting it up. Maybe it’s humbling because it’s a little harder to get off the floor as an adult. Or maybe it is because it puts everyone on the same level plane where we can see each other eye to eye. There’s no grandstanding on the circle rug. On the floor is a great place to have that debrief conversation about that big change event or project that just completed. Talk about what worked. What didn’t? What did we learn? Or you can use floor time to not have any agenda and be like preschool asking simple questions like Tell me something that made you laugh today? Tell me something you learned today. Tell me something that gave you joy. Tell me something that frustrated you. You get the idea.
If you try any of these strategies and engage your inner child. Drop me a comment and let me know how it worked out for you.
