What Dogs Teach Us About Self
I am a mom to two human beings and a furry being, Zora. While being a parent to children is an ever-evolving mystery, caring for a dog is a much more transparent relationship. And recently on a walk with my furry friend, I realized how much dogs can teach us about our own care. I thought I’d share some reflections here…
Respect Your Boundaries
Dogs immediately sniff out bad energy whether it’s humans that they think might do them harm or harm their owners, or other not-so-friendly furry creatures. And they will immediately let you know they’re setting a boundary by barking or like my Zora, barking and then quickly removing herself from the situation. As humans, we are not as clear on our boundaries to things or people that might do us harm. We should take a lesson from dogs if it smells or sounds like trouble, articulate the boundary (use your words not your bark) or extricate yourself from the situation. I’m not going to engage in this argument, relationship, or experience for my own safety and health – physical, mental, or spiritual.
Rest
I often joke that my dog sleeps like she has three full-time jobs and a family to raise. But dogs sleep on average 12-14 hours a day. When Zora wakes from a nap she is raring to play or go for a walk. As human beings, we don’t understand the benefits of rest and sometimes even brag about how we pulled an all-nighter or only need a few hours of sleep. But resting, whether you get a full 10 hours or take periodic naps throughout the day has so many health benefits. When we get a good night's sleep our bodies are more resistant to sickness, we maintain a healthy weight, have a reduction in stress, improve overall mood, reduce risk for chronic illness, and improve our ability to think clearly. Prioritizing rest is good for our overall well-being. Remember to turn off your screens at least an hour before you go to bed to help your body transition into rest mode.
Ask for What You Need
When my dog wants to eat or go do her business she knows all she needs to do is whine and that’s exactly what she does. When I respond, “walkie?” or “breakfast?” she tilts her head in my direction to say, “Yes woman!” Compared to two-legged creatures, dogs are pretty clear about communicating their wants and needs. As a woman and caregiver, I am often apt not to ask for help when I need it. And I am always a little surprised that when I do ask for help others willingly, sometimes eagerly give the support. I convince myself that it is more efficient to do things myself, but in reality, all of the things start to add up and then I find myself in a place of overwhelm and exhaustion [see rest and boundaries above]. So while I’m not about that whining life, I am getting much better at asking for help knowing that if I'm taking care of I'm in a better space to also take care of others.
What’s Your Love Language?
Dogs have very specific ways they show love. Making direct eye contact. Licking you. Greeting you with hugs and a waggy tail, even if you’ve only been gone for an hour. Cuddling up close when they sleep to ensure body contact with their person. Following you around the house like a shadow (even to the bathroom). Human beings are not always so clear with their love language. We often assume that those around us should just know our love through osmosis. But we all need daily reminders that we are loved and seen by the people in our lives. For me, it's little signals. I make sure to express gratitude when my partner does even the small things, like refilling my cup of coffee. I say “I love you” when the kids say goodnight. I leave little treats that I know the special people in my life enjoy. I listen deeply when someone I care for just needs to talk it out [though admittedly I’m working on not giving unsolicited solutions and feedback]. So what are the little ways you express your love for others in your life? What’s your love language?
Get Outside
My dog's two favorite things are taking walks/hikes outdoors and sunbathing. She loves being out in nature sniffing every single blade of grass, chasing birds/squirrels, saying hello to her dog neighbors, and lazing in the sunny spot on the deck. When she comes inside from being outside she seems so satisfied - as expressed by deep dog sighs. Being outside in nature has the same healing benefits for us humans as I imagine it has for dogs. Getting outside among trees, fresh air, and bodies of water all serves to destress, calm us, and facilitate both concentration and creativity. Add to those mental health benefits - a brisk walk once a day can literally add years to your lifespan. You have to walk the dog anyway so use that as an opportunity to reap the restorative benefits of getting outside.
Whether you are a dog parent or not, we are all caregivers to something or someone. So today, I encourage you to take a beat to reflect on what intentional practices you can incorporate for your own care.
